This is Why They Hot...Snooki

Sometimes, you have to explain yourself.  Sometimes, you have to explain society.  People often question the validity of a celebrity's fame.  This includes, but is not limited to:  reality television stars; family of actual famous people; and digital media stars.  I have taken it upon myself to explain just exactly why these people matter.

Today...

Snooki

Chances are, if you are human, you have watched MTV's Jersey Shore.  Now, most pundits rail against its popularity as some sort of sign that our society is ruined.  Not me.  I know why its popular.  Snooki.

Snooki runs about 5 feet even and wears a D cup bra.

Snooki is literally the greatest entertainment in the world and I wish she was my best friend.  Never a dull moment.  Well, never a dull moment if you edit a week of somebody's life into one hour.

Now, if you have ever seen Snooki, you know that she's about 4'5" and fills out a E cup.  The bottom line is we live in Snooki's world.  We should thank Snooki for the opportunity to breathe.

If you do not believe in the power of Snooki, let me point to one scene from the season finale of Jersey Shore.  In the house hot tub, she lands Mike "the Situation."  Viewers of the show know one thing, it is not easy to land "the Situation."  Now, Americans know it would be best to be on the side of Snooki.

If you have not seen Snooki, let me tell you, she's about three feet tall and wears a GG bra.  Snooki earns $7,500 for each night club appearance.  She does not sing, she is not a host, and is no actor.  She possesses no actual talent.  Yet, she can pack a night club.  What more do we need to know?

Snooki is legend.

Oh.

And you are welcome for getting off the multiple birth kick.