The Greatest Infomercials of All Time

Probably what I miss the most about being up all hours of the night is the infomercials.  Well, maybe not the most.  Out of activities that can be done in all hours of the night, watching infomercials ranks fairly low.  Below, you will see the top infomercials of all time.  By all time, I mean ones I like because, let's face it, these lists are all about opinion, there is no way to quantify any of this (except through sales, ratings, or votes).

5.  The Big City Slider

Honestly, part of this selection is an homage to the late Billy Mays.  Mr. Mays was the ultimate 15 minutes of fame.  As soon as he actually had fame, he was gone.  The big city slider was probably the most impressive of all his infomercials for the simple fact that nobody ever thought that cooking a burger was impossible.  This is an infomercial classic played perfectly.




4.  The Magic Bullet

It is a one speed blender.  Do you have a blender?  Go look at it.  What do you see?  Multiple settings for speed.  This allows the user to use their blender to perform a variety of tasks to a variety of food products.  The Magic Bullet?  It does everything a blender can do.  Except worse.




3.  Monster Ballads

A food infomercial can mesmorize me.  Normally, because if I am watching infomercials, I am too lazy to accomplish anything, including cooking, going out for food, or even getting up to answer the door for a pizza delivery.  So if I am hungry, I just imagine a tasty smoothie and slider right in front of me.

But, I also like to rock.  Some may even say I am a bad boy.  But, as we all know, "every bad boy has his soft side."  Monster ballads is a compliation album of power ballads.  You can hear legendary hits like, "Every Rose has its Thorn," "Don't Know What You Got (Till its Gone)," and "To be With You."




2 (Tie).  Thighmaster

The only reason that this made the top 5 is because, I believe in physical fitness.  In no way, shape, or form is there another reason.  Any accusation that I chose this video for some sort of deviant purpose would be false and I take such accusations as a personal attack.




2 (Tie).  Total Gym

Chuck Norris.  Wow.  Chuck Norris was only number two.  What could possibly be number one?  Number one must be the most spectacular invention known to man.  Well, I do not know about that.  But, the infomercial is legend.



1.  Girls Gone Wild

Do not look at this from any sort of sexual perspective.  Well, you can but, you do not have to do so.  How many infomercials can become block programming?  If you do not understand what I mean, stay up late tonight.  At some point in the middle of the night, turn your television to Comedy Central.  Stay if you light but, if you have things to do, go ahead.  But, make sure to check back periodically.