Showing posts with label Sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sports. Show all posts

Thursday, April 29, 2010

OH NO!

Charlotte is under attack!

By....

EVIL TIGER!!!!









(Thanks Charlotte Observer)






Tiger Woods is in Charlotte for the Quail Hollow Championship.  Its some sort of golf tournament that is so good the sponsor pays to not have their name attached to it.  Seriously.  But, something terrible has happened to Mr. Woods.  Some goateed bastard has taken him over.  Chaos will rule.  Hide your children.  I'm not hackneyed enough to make a sex joke.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Kitty Report

THAT WAS THE GREATEST WEEKEND EVER FOR THE KITTIES!

Well, except for the Mikecats (I call them Mikecats because, they're the Bobcats named after former owner Bob Johnson and now Michael "my roommate is a douche" Jordan, its clever).

I am talking about the Panthers.  They finally drafted a quarterback that is the answer to all of their problems.  No, not this guy (Rudy unavailable?).  Or this guy.

I mean a legend.

This guy.


Armanti is legend.  He was drafted as a wide receiver.  He'll probably see most of his snaps there.  But, the Panthers have a football player.  A damn good football player.

And a new fan.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Kitty Report

Goodbye...

Jakey Jake



Julius



Oh yeah.  Pretty much everybody else.

For reals.  At this point don't expect a spectacular NFL season.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Remix the Tiger

Most people have heard this one.

We may have something better...



Remix good!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Staged? Brett Favre

Clayton is cynical.  He rarely believes what he sees.  Actually, that is not true.  His cynicism is random.  Most of the time he can be duped into anything but, sometimes something catches his eye.

Today...


Brett Favre is a clean 40 year old star quarterback.

With a few exceptions, I do not spend a ton of time on the sport blogs.  This may be addressed by somebody before but, I have not heard any of it.  But, I am sitting here watching the Viking and the Saints play in the NFC Championship.  Aikman and Buck are gushing.  But, they are only following in the foot steps of every other member of the mainstream media.

Which, on its surface, is fine.

There is nothing wrong with the excitement surrounding a 40 year old playing at such a high level.

Except, we cannot forget Mark McGwire.  We cannot forget Roger Clemens.  We cannot forget Barry Bonds.

Each player found a surge late in their career.  Each player found the surge with steroid assistance.  Perhaps this is unfair to Favre.  But, the question has to be asked.  How can he play this game?

What adds to my suspicion are his retirements.  The past two years he disappears at the end of the season.  Could this be so can cycle properly onto steroids without the parental eye of the NFL?  Not to mention, steroids create mood swings.  How often have you seen Brett Favre cry?  Makes me want to investigate Tim Tebow while we are at it.

Obviously, I have no proof to any of this.  My only point?

You have to ask the question.

Kitty Report

As previously mentioned, the Panthers are not in the playoffs.  This is what one of their best players has decided to do with his time.



Thanks to Rock Hill Herald's Darin Gantt for the link.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Kitty Report


Well, Mark Sanchez ruined this post.

We were very close to a NFC/AFC championship weekend featuring Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Brett Favre, and Phillip Rivers.  But, Sanchez and the Jets snuck into the party.

If you have ever read the Kitty Report before, you know where this is headed.  Quarterbacks are necessary in the NFL.  Great quarterbacks are necessary in the NFL.  If you're Trent Dilfer or Brad Johnson, the only way you win the Super Bowl is with an all-time dominant defense.  Other than that, your quarterback better be able to fling it better than anybody else.

With that being said, Matt Moore is not the answer for the Carolina Panthers.  He could be a good quarterback in the NFL.  But, if you want to win championships, you need a great quarterback.

Bottom line.

The Panthers need to take some chances.  Maybe not Jay Cutler chances but, chances nonetheless.  If the front office has faith in Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy, or Jimmy Clausen, take that chance.  Whoever is available that they believe can be a great quarterback, take that chance.  But, do not look for good.  They need great.  Again.  I know a guy.

In Bobcat news, Stephen Jackson still has not punched a fan in the stands.  Also, they're playing well.  I may have to actually watch a game and develop an opinion.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Kitty Report

The NFL playoffs continue this weekend without the Carolina Panthers for one simple reason.  They were there last year.  These guys do not win in back to back years.

Its science.

There is no reason to over think what the Panthers should do in order to make the playoffs in 2010.  They need improved performance at the quarterback position.  Three quarterbacks threw more interceptions in 2009.  Two rookies and Jay Cutler.  As a team, the Panthers ranked 26th in passing efficiency.  Ten out of the top 13 teams in passing efficiency made the playoffs.

Many may claim that the Panthers are a running team, and they're right.  But, that does not matter in this league anymore.  Only 7 of the top 13 rushing teams are in the playoffs.  The two worst rushing teams, the Colts and Chargers, may be the best teams in the league.

So, tell Mr. Richardson to find a quarterback.  I know a good one.


In Bobcat news...

Stephen Jackson has stayed out of the stands, so I guess they are playing the right way.

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Most Shocking News in the History of the World

Sit down.

Sit your ass down right now.

If you are still standing, I must warn you. This news will cause your legs to go limp and if you are anywhere near a sharp object, you could strike your head and be knocked unconscious. If you are still standing, you must promise this blog that you will not sue us for damages because, you have been warning?

Are you ready?

Mark McGwire.

Used.

Steroids.

Really?

Oh, and rock stars do alright with the ladies.

Bill Gates makes a little money.

Tom was not a huge fan of Jerry.

The cast of Jersey Shore may not qualify for Mensa.