Most people have heard this one.
We may have something better...
Remix good!
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Thursday, February 25, 2010
Not Not the News V
This is America. If you don't like bacon, why don't you get the hell out?
Butter face. There. I said it.
If you put their name in the article, it doesn't work.
A little over the top. Come on dude, this is North Carolina.
Call every Canadian you know "Junior." We beat them at the only thing they can do.
Good work if you can get it.
Butter face. There. I said it.
If you put their name in the article, it doesn't work.
A little over the top. Come on dude, this is North Carolina.
Call every Canadian you know "Junior." We beat them at the only thing they can do.
Good work if you can get it.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Staged? Kevin Smith
Clayton is cynical. He rarely believes what he sees. Actually, that is not true. His cynicism is random. Most of the time he can be duped into anything but, sometimes something catches his eye.
Today...
Kevin Smith on a plane.
Kevin Smith is a fat director of movies. Kevin Smith has a movie coming out this weekend.
Last week Kevin Smith was involved in a Twitter controversy (Twitroversy?). Apparently, he was on an airplane. Then, he was told to get off because, he was fat. He tweeted about it and the airline tweeted back. Then, a bunch of people with cameras interviewed people about it.
When the dust settled, Kevin Smith had gained a ton of publicity the week before his movie debuted in theaters.
How convienent.
Today...
Kevin Smith on a plane.
Kevin Smith is a fat director of movies. Kevin Smith has a movie coming out this weekend.
Last week Kevin Smith was involved in a Twitter controversy (Twitroversy?). Apparently, he was on an airplane. Then, he was told to get off because, he was fat. He tweeted about it and the airline tweeted back. Then, a bunch of people with cameras interviewed people about it.
When the dust settled, Kevin Smith had gained a ton of publicity the week before his movie debuted in theaters.
How convienent.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Staged? Tiger Woods
Clayton is cynical. He rarely believes what he sees. Actually, that is not true. His cynicism is random. Most of the time he can be duped into anything but, sometimes something catches his eye.
Today...
Tiger Woods' public statement.
It was made at the Accenture Match Play Championship.
One of Tiger's biggest sponsors?
Accenture.
If you can't do that math, you are a moron.
Today...
Tiger Woods' public statement.
It was made at the Accenture Match Play Championship.
One of Tiger's biggest sponsors?
Accenture.
If you can't do that math, you are a moron.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Not Not the News V
The Winter Olympics are happening. These guys have my favorite coverage.
This sucks yall. No seriously, I will give somebody 100 dollars if they explain why this actually exists.
He's still the best golfer in the world. That's the only legitimate reason to pay attention to him.
Moving forward. Even when you planned on stopping.
My friends are boring. Why do I need more proof?
Tweetattite for Destruction? Sorry, I couldn't think of anything good.
Legendary. Now if only we could do something about that curling team.
This sucks yall. No seriously, I will give somebody 100 dollars if they explain why this actually exists.
He's still the best golfer in the world. That's the only legitimate reason to pay attention to him.
Moving forward. Even when you planned on stopping.
My friends are boring. Why do I need more proof?
Tweetattite for Destruction? Sorry, I couldn't think of anything good.
Legendary. Now if only we could do something about that curling team.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Staged? Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin used to be the Governor of Alaska. She also was a Vice-Presidential candidate in 2008. But, this is really why you remember her.
Yeah. She's hot. That is why you know her name.
Besides being hot, Palin is known for being outraged for random reasons. Particularly, her son. Now, her son has down syndrome (he really does), so one understands why she may be a little sensitive on the issue.
Her colleagues (yes, they work for the same company) over at Family Guy made a reference to down syndrome and a former governor of Alaska (do the math).
She's mad. On television and Facebook. Is she mad in private? Maybe a little. But, let's face it. This is a publicity move for her and her company. Increased rating and exposure for everybody!
Yeah. She's hot. That is why you know her name.
Besides being hot, Palin is known for being outraged for random reasons. Particularly, her son. Now, her son has down syndrome (he really does), so one understands why she may be a little sensitive on the issue.
Her colleagues (yes, they work for the same company) over at Family Guy made a reference to down syndrome and a former governor of Alaska (do the math).
She's mad. On television and Facebook. Is she mad in private? Maybe a little. But, let's face it. This is a publicity move for her and her company. Increased rating and exposure for everybody!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Not Not the News IV
If you want a shout out from me, diss Bono.
Country music can be good. If you hear it on the radio, it probably sucks.
It is his only shot at the Super Bowl, let him have it (yes, I am holding back).
These dudes caught CBS. Seriously.
Big week for gay people.
Maybe the Globetrotters will stop by. It won't matter though, Gilligan will screw it up.
Haha! Turkeys.
Country music can be good. If you hear it on the radio, it probably sucks.
It is his only shot at the Super Bowl, let him have it (yes, I am holding back).
These dudes caught CBS. Seriously.
Big week for gay people.
Maybe the Globetrotters will stop by. It won't matter though, Gilligan will screw it up.
Haha! Turkeys.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Staged? PETA
Groundhog Day is every February 2nd. That is not what this is about. I do hate the Groundhog Day but, still. Not the point of the post.
This is about PETA.
PETA has taken issue with the treatment of Punxsutawney Phil (that's the name of the Groundhog). They explain why they take issue with this particular celebrations of rodents and weather.
But, this can't possibly be the most important use of an animal lover's time. At its best, its fodder for every talk show and comedian in the land.
That's it. PETA was placed into our laps for humor.
Think about it.
Everything PETA does is a stitch. From throwing fake blood onto fur coats (so more animals can be killed to make replacements) to comparing treatment of animals to the Holocaust (I can't think of anything ironic about that), PETA is at the forefront at ridiculous advocacy.
Can somebody track who donates the funds for PETA?
My guess is a billionare hunter. Perhaps this guy.
Billionaire Ted probably gets bored.
This is about PETA.
PETA has taken issue with the treatment of Punxsutawney Phil (that's the name of the Groundhog). They explain why they take issue with this particular celebrations of rodents and weather.
PETA says that Phil is forced to be on display year round at the local library and is denied the ability to prepare for and enter yearly hibernation. Add to that the displeasure of large, screaming crowds, flashing lights of cameras, and human handling. If Punxsutawney frees Phil, then the bitter winter that's made him into an unwilling media attraction will end, making way for a sunny spring that everyone can enjoy, reports PETA.You may even think that this crazy groundhog is mistreated. That's fine. Whatever you like.
But, this can't possibly be the most important use of an animal lover's time. At its best, its fodder for every talk show and comedian in the land.
That's it. PETA was placed into our laps for humor.
Think about it.
Everything PETA does is a stitch. From throwing fake blood onto fur coats (so more animals can be killed to make replacements) to comparing treatment of animals to the Holocaust (I can't think of anything ironic about that), PETA is at the forefront at ridiculous advocacy.
Can somebody track who donates the funds for PETA?
My guess is a billionare hunter. Perhaps this guy.
Billionaire Ted probably gets bored.
Monday, February 1, 2010
McDonald's
I am here to tell you that Taylor Swift is the McDonald's of music.
Last night, the young "country" singer won four Grammys. A very impressive feat. Many, however, do not understand why. Few people claim that Swift is "horrible" but, few can point to what makes her "spectacular." She can sing a little, has the ability to play the guitar, and writes basic songs.
There is nothing difficult about Taylor Swift. She is easy to find. You can hear her on both country and pop radio stations, she's touring, and all over your television. She sells tons of albums (or downloads or whatever the kids are doing these days). Nothing is difficult about Taylor Swift.
Just like McDonald's.
You may prefer Jimi Hendrix, Diana Ross, The Doors, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Led Zeppelin, Queen, the Grateful Dead, or the Who (all have no Grammys) but, they are more like a local diner or tailgate party burger. They require more work. You may have to drive long distances, learn to appreciate, and put forth a lot of effort to enjoy them. Not so with McDonald's. Not so with Taylor Swift.
They are easy.
That's why they sell burgers.
That's why they win Grammy's.
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